Dear John Goodman,
I have a few modest requests to make upon your death, Firstly may I use your husky bones to make utensils for my home? Secondly may I wear your skin as a fashionable coat to movie premieres and cocktail parties?(of course Ill have to have it tailored for a proper fit, also I was thinking of covering all the stretchmarks with sapphires which I'm sure it will cost me quite a pretty penny)
Lastly may I please have your collection of plaid shirts,I've been wanting to start a home decor business for several years and I believe each one of your working class garments would make for beautiful king size bedspreads.
Thank you for taking the time to read my request Mr.Goodman I'm sure you receive similar ones everyday.